dive

disappointment kind of floods me when people aren't willing to risk something to have an adventure. there's a lot of 'it depends' in this situation, but don't you want to see the world without your mom covering your eyes so you don't have to see what she doesn't want you to? aren't we supposed to be growing up, and making our own choices, and taking responsibility for them? it frustrates me when people around me think more about the consequences and less about if it's worth it. maybe this sounds really reckless, but i hate to see a chance not taken, especially if you aren't going to end up dead, a meth head, or hurting someone else. get over it! do something for yourself for once. 

rules are made so they can be broken,

if you risk nothing, you risk everything,

someone drew that line so you could cross it!

sometimes i wonder who turns out for the better, the people who don't stick around, or the people who don't let go. is there a better? i always catch myself questioning myself when i stumble upon somebody with a trait i don't have, but admire. hiding your feelings, not letting go of the past, straying away from change, or even things like considering a certain place home. someone told me i was good at hiding my feelings but i feel like i'm better at hiding things that cause my emotions to become what they are. we read about disassociation in journalism today and about how people block out things they don't want to remember. i can't decide if i do that or not, i tend to talk about the things that shape me in a lighter tone than i feel them. does everyone do that? i have so many questions about everyone, but it's hard to ask when you're afraid to offend someone or push someone away. i hear i do that by being direct. are my questions direct? are they too personal? i feel like life is too short to hide things.

and then i think too hard about all of this and how come i push people i want to be closer to away so often and it gives me a headache, or rather makes the constant pulsing in my head worse. someone should ask me 'my type' of questions, i'd answer.

followfollowfollow

sometimes i feel like a fish for being dragged along the current, but when i really think about it my mind goes 'now really, who the fuck cares?' because everything was started by someone doing something and then someone else doing it as well. how do you think babies were invented? anyways, converting to blogspot makes me uncertain, how often do i blog and how often does anything make sense to someone else besides me (even less than i blog).